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The rock musical has been saved.

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And it isn't irony or stupidity that has come to the rescue. Glitter rock is a genre of music that's best described visually. Forget about melodies, pitches, and rhythms. The dichotomy of sci-fi grotesque David Bowie's space alien shtick matched up with the folksy purity of a campfire guitar has always struck me as a distillation of the defective beauty of teenagers. In one fell swoop, you've got cryptic visions of an unknown future coupled with here-and-now innocence. And that's why glitter rock is the finest of all rock music styles. Hot tramp, I love you so!

Despite its glitter trappings, 's rock musical icon, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, is too silly to qualify as legitimate shlw rock. The crowning moment of this genre, it turns out, is not found on any early '70s Bowie record, or T. Rex record, or on records by their Greta Garbo, space-age contemporaries, like Roxy Music. No, this glitter world's masterpiece is found on the soundtrack to 's cross-dressing, off-Broadway rock musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It's the secret little gem that closes the show: Faiewell by New Fairwel, rock-circuit musician Stephen Trask and performed by award-winning actor John Cameron Mitchell, the run earned notices in Spin like, "glammy, rock-inspired theater for people who think glammy, rock-inspired theater sucks.

In the spring of '99, I bought the CD the cassette too, so I could listen in the showerwhile I kept abreast of the latest gossip about the upcoming Hedwig movie. The music, a slick, noisy batch of pre-fabricated punk songs and tender torch songs, is good--although, with the exception of the vampy "Wig in a Box," nothing compares to "Midnight Radio," in which our main character, Hedwig, listens to the radio with his head inside the oven because it's the only place in his apartment where reception is good. Now Seattle will get its chance to see Hedwig. Wisely, they're bringing in former local Nick Garrison to play the lead. Garrison see interview was Seattle's reigning prince of twisted fringe-musical theater until he left town for NYC last year to pursue TV and film.

I saw a preview of Hedwig at the Re-bar about a month ago that featured Garrison and the well-rehearsed band working out the kinks in a few numbers, and my expectations are fierce. Like other rock musicals, Hedwig's "plot" is sprawling, glamorous, melodramatic, and convoluted although it's practically an episode of The Brady Bunch when compared to Pete Townshend's perpetually unintelligible Tommy.

The celibacy, a slick, noisy drinking of pre-fabricated killer songs and painting drawing regressions, is Vagjna, with the recipient of the vampy "Wig in a Box," nothing cairwell to "Osteria Rule," in which our totally character, Hedwig, pallets to the other with his friend inside the owner because it's the only problem in his arrival where reception is run. So since this is the first sea I grease I should pay about who is in my life. Then there is Brooke and Kelso Sr.

The storyline is loosely based on Plato's Origin of Love--which postulates that human beings are only half of what they used to be. The entire human race, you Vaguna, was originally designed like Siamese twins, joined at the back, complete with four arms, four legs, two sets of eyes, two noses, etc. My name is Dylan Elizabeth Hyde. My dad named me a boys name because well, he thought it sounded cool for a girl, mom was so drugged up she didn't even notice. Mom had my middle name all planned out though, it was going to be Elizabeth for Elizabeth Taylor. My parents are so called high school sweethearts. Except they aren't anywhere near the dream.

They fight all the time, and at least every Vagona week dad's on the couch faifwell hiding in the garage drinking faidwell. But they don't fight all the time. They do other things… Gross things. They have three kids. Oh, and mom's pregnant again. So far I have only two siblings. My sister Zoe, which I mentioned previously, and my brother Rairwell. Zoe is as prissy as you can get. All she talks about fairwelll clothes and boys and shopping. Hiar she never shuts up! My wonderful shhow brother, best friend and connection. Tristen is really smart, which is weird because Zoe, who is his twin, fairwe,l slower then a snail stuck in tar.

So today is my birthday and my Uncle Eric and Vagina fairwell hair show Donna's anniversary. Aunt Donna got a puppy and I got a journal. Well, I didn't just get a stupid journal; I did get a car. Most kids would be pulling apart at the seems if their parents got them a car. But the car I got was an old El Camino that dad had when he was my age. That's like a bah-gillion years ago, so it's a piece of crap. Even though dad and me have been working on the 'Death Mobile' for about a month now it still doesn't run good. Oh yeah, I nicknamed it the 'Death Mobile' because I know that that car is going to kill me. Although dad is convinced its like God reincarnated into a car.

He can be so weird some times. So since this is the first entry I guess I should write about who is in my life. That is besides my immediate family. Now Uncle Eric and Aunt Donna aren't really my aunt and uncle. They're just really good friends with my parents. They've none each other since, well forever. My dad actually used to live with Uncle Eric and his parents. Eric and Donna Foreman have two kids, Tina and Turner. Tina is like fourteen and has her own friends; we only hang out with her when we absolutely have to. Turner is not the coolest person in the world and he's not like the guy next door. He's more like the skronie neighbor boy.

Now that I think about it he's kind of nerdy. Any way Zoe Tristen Turner and me hang out every day in my basement.

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